This might sound extremely LAME, and I hate to admit this now, but one year ago when I joined the gym, I was kind of terrified. Thankfully, I had my sister and a few other friends who went there often. I could plan my visits around when we could workout together. I always made sure I had someone. You know, there's some sort of security in numbers or something. Right?
I couldn't even attend a group class alone at first. I needed someone else to be there that I knew. Someone else to laugh with at my ridiculous Zumba moves (thank God I gave that up-it's bad), because I just couldn't own it myself. Flat out, I was insecure.
Slowly...slowly but surely I felt more and more comfortable. When I felt like I got this with one group class, I decided to try another. I started to feel more capable of trying everything and anything. I found my niche in a few classes that I swore I'd never have had the courage to walk into, ever, and I was wrong. They've become my favorites.
Some of them really involve stepping outside the box, a lot of teamwork, and that? That can be completely terrifying sometimes, especially for someone like me who didn't participate in sports & teams in school. Just putting your fitness and capabilities flat out there for the world to see? Yea. That's kind of vulnerable.
For example, this week, in bootcamp, when we did a huge group relay, involving suicides, in a team-setting, and everyone's cheering you on as you perform and run and sweat in front of them. My heart always races a little before we start, because ohmygosh. But I've had to get out of my head, and this week---out of 8 teams, MY TEAM WON. And the two other guys on my team told me I had the lead in suicides. You guys, I HAD THE LEAD! I know it's kind of a stupid thing to be proud of, but I came home and told my husband that although it means nothing, that our little team 'won' (no one even acknowledged it really), it was a huuuuge deal to me, and a huuuuge reminder to just how far I've come.
I felt darn proud.
I don't know if that left me feeling like I could just conquer anything, or what? But the next morning I woke up determined to get over my last gym fear....cycling (spin, RPM, whatever you all call it ;)) I know, I know--it's just a bike. But that thing intimidated me like no other. Walking into a class, not sure if you were (gasp) taking someone else's spot. Not being able to hide because you haaave to let the instructor know you're new so they can help you get all set up and explain things with the bike, ya know? It surely ain't your momma's zumba class in the way you can slip in the back and no one knows. But I walked in, basically blurted out in an awkward way that THIS IS MY FIRST TIME, OHMYGOSH, HELP ME. And everyone was welcoming and sweet, and the instructor even called out to me a few times during the class to make sure I was hanging in there (I was).
I came, I worked hard, I got a good sweat, I conquered....and my butt is sore to prove it (as I was told it would be).
And you know what? Again, that feeling of accomplishment came over me. I realize, I totally realize this sounds laaaame, but it's true. It was a mini-gym-fear of mine, spin class--but I did it. And I'll be back.
Sore bum & all.
Anyone else have weird fears like I do? Anyone else have any proud moments this week? share! :)
Step out of the box today, you may just surprise yourself.