Anyway. As we were laying there and going to town on coloring books, Declan says something about wanting to make a Spring/Summer bucket list to make sure we're intentional about places we want to go and things we want to do.
Perfect. Sounds good to me.
So I grab a poop brown crayon and start jotting things down. It quickly became a family discussion and Emeline grabbed her pen and began 'writing', too and asking everyone in the family the same question, "did you 'fink about it? where do YOU wanna go?"
We thought and we pondered. We threw out fun ideas like going fishing, and to the local railroad--trips to the lake and to the zoo. All of these things sound so fun to me. I wrote down my idea for last minute, spontaneous weekend trips. I wanna hit up some cool restaurants, you know, think Diners-Drive-in's and Dive's style. I wanna DO fun stuff. I wanna just go with my family and hike and find little hidden corners of the world I didn't know existed.
I have this deep urge to explore.
The problem is--when it comes down to it, nothing I ever think in my head that sounds so amazing ever turns out to be, well, that amazing.
Am I the only one with this problem?
The actual act of getting there, doing it, the planning, the prep---it's all so exhausting. And gosh, with kids--things actually going as planned? Forget about it. I can't even get a 30 minute Target trip to go my way, let alone some whirlwind, last minute, weekend trip, I'm sure-----so why bother.
Sometimes that's how I feel. And I haaate it.
I don't know if we're just in a rough patch as far as the kids ages go or what. But sometimes I feel like we'll never get to live that fancy free life I picture in my head.
The truth is--when I really dig deep and I think about it? The problem lies within me and me alone. It's how I react to the stressful situations, the way the kid's act like, well--kids. I can get out of my fairy tale mindset and just know that new situations, new places we visit, new things we explore, while they'll be fun, we will still have those hurdles to get over, and gasp, life isn't over in the midst of it.
I know. It all sounds so trivial. And I guess it really is. But sometimes it holds me back, and dang it-I don't want it to.
I want to have a fun summer filled with making memories. And yes, some of those memories are gonna come with messes.
It's gotta be about the journey. I only have this one life, right?