Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Why instagram made me feel like I was doing it all wrong.

My first Mother's Day I couldn't imagine not being with 'my people'. I just wanted to hug my girl a million times, with my husband by my side, do sweet things like go to the lake, have a picnic, maybe get a sweet card and flowers as an added bonus.


The last two? I realized that I actually wanted alone time--time to be spoiled, by myself, the chance to sleep in, to go shopping alone, and basically, to be blunt, I wanted the day off.

I realize this might have to do with the fact that Emeline's birthday is always the weekend of Mother's Day. I slave away on birthday stuff for her, throw her a party, make the whole day about her as it should--so by the next morning, I'm completely and totally spent. Not to mention, minor detail, I have two children now. Both of whom are getting older and are actually more needy, and more exhausting to be around than when they were babies if I'm being honest. Oh, and--one other important fact....I'm home with them all day, every day.

I actually didn't think anything was wrong with my Mom's Day Off theory, and my husband is a strict enforcer of this, too. He seriously doesn't think I should lift a finger-and well, who can complain about that? It's just, I felt like, hey--it's Mother's Day. We all get to do (if we can/have the means/have a spouse around/family who can help, etc) what we want/choose to do with it, essentially. I just subscribe to the theory that I don't want it to be like every other day--make me feel a little special--alone time is nice to rejuvenate my soul--and, oh, added bonus, I love fresh flowers.

I go to sleep Saturday night knowing I don't have a monitor by my head and can sleep in till my little heart desires. I dream about sleeping in till 9am. In reality, I end up waking up at 6:18am. I lay and flop around a bit and try to enjoy the fact that I don't have to move from my bed for as long as I want. I roll my eyes because I am such a mom, waking up this early out of habit. It doesn't work. My stomach starts to growl. I realize I'm starving. I send a text downstairs to Declan to let him know I'm coming down soon because, I need food and coffee.


I come down to a table filled with cards and the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I've ever received. Emeline picked me out the most amazing Walmart heart ring you've ever laid your eyes on. I've worn it on my right middle finger ever since, and I won't even think about taking it off until it turns my finger green (which has already begun, ha) It's fun when they start picking out gifts for you, right?--Kinda just adds that extra sweetness factor to the whole day.

He makes me a super breakfast--omelette, bacon, fruit and coffee. Then he tells me that the plan is that I'm off for the day. That he booked me a massage at 11am, but other than that I'm free as a bird, and oh, by the way, don't worry about money either. We agreed that we'd meet back up for church that evening, because I did want to be there all together, but other than that, he's got everything else under control.

So I eat. I snuggle my kids a little. I pack a bag. I head to the gym because that's how I like to start my day if I can. I sweat and burn calories. I get ready there. I head to my massage. I enjoy it tremendously. Declan texts me a cute pic of the girls outside playing, checking in to make sure I'm enjoying myself. I am. I head off to shop for some summer dresses at a few stores. I find some things--not much. But I enjoy strolling the aisles quietly. I get a little hungry so I decide that chipotle sounds delightful. As I finally stop enough to pull out my phone, I scroll instagram as I eat the best salad loaded with All The Good Things, in silence. It is glorious.

Then I start to see all the instagrams of the momma's with their kids. With captions like, All I want is them by my side today. After all, they're the reason I'm momma, anyway. Hugging my kids all day. Spending the day with the ones who made me Mom. The list goes on.

...and immediately I felt like something was wrong with me.

When I was finished I texted my husband and let him know I'd be joining them for the rest of the afternoon. He was confused, Why? No-Stay out. You deserve time alone. We're having a great day, I got this.

I still made my way home.

We spent the afternoon together, visiting his mom and seeing his family. Going to church. Then I got to go out with my siblings and my momma to celebrate her while Declan put the kids to bed.
***

The next day, at my work meeting, we were all talking about our Mother's Day and I mentioned getting alone time and getting a massage, and basically taking some time off from normal mom stuff. When I was met with a sarcastic "well aren't you Mother of the Year" from a male co-worker.

So clearly I must be missing something. We see it as a day to rejuvenate the mom. To take the day off and to relax a little. While other's want to soak up their babies even more and squish them all day, and not leave their side.

What I'm realizing is we're all in different phases. My mom doesn't have her babies home with her anymore--so she wants to be with us. Some of the momma's may work during the week, and spending a full day with their kid's by their side is a luxury. Some may stay home and still want to spend the whole day on mother's day doing the mom-thing. While others, (coughMe) are knee deep in mom stuff all week and thrive off a little alone time and pampering. There is nothing wrong with any of these...it's like telling someone they celebrate Christmas the wrong way just because it's different from you, right?

and you know what? It's OK. I will continue to celebrate Mother's Day in the way that feeds my soul. I just learned my lesson this year... I'll leave my phone at home.



***

How do you 'do' Mother's day? I'm curious to see what school of thought you all subscribe to.  Let's chat.


51 comments:

  1. I am not a mother yet (I am only 19 and a half and happily single!), I do try to make it a special day for my Mum but its not a big thing. This year my sister and I got my Mum a cute lunch bag for her to take to work (she's a teachers aide) as her current one was falling apart and I filled it with some goodies - her favourite lolly snakes, 2 cute tins of mints and a box of her favourite instant soup (I have the same lunch bag but different pattern and I always keep a few packs of soup in the side pocket for when hunger strikes or I forget my lunch etc.). We were both stuck as to what to get her, as we like to buy gifts that will be used not collect dust but she loved it :)
    Then as it's always my Grandma's birthday around Mothers Day we went to see her after church with a cake, she has dementia so doesn't make sense and we all have a feeling that she won't be around much longer (she is in a high care nursing home). Two of my three uncles also came one with his wife and two kids which was good (the other just came with his wife as his kids were busy with homework), my Grandma didn't have a clue what was going on but she liked seeing all of us and enjoyed the cake.
    We don't make a big deal of it, but we do try to celebrate it but to us its a normal Sunday.
    Honestly I know people who don't celebrate it at all and that's fine, its a family thing.

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  2. Okay the guy at work who made that comment is a douche. Because obviously if he was a Dad and you asked him what he wanted to do for Father's Day, I'm sure his answer would be "Spend all day with the kids who made me Dad!" instead of 3 rounds of golf and a beer *eyeroll*.

    You are 100% entitled to time off. It's a DAY. You're a mom every. single. dang. day. And I'm sure some of those mom's you saw on IG might work, so it makes sense that they want to spend their day that way. But like you said, you're home with the ladies every day. There is nothing unreasonable, wrong, or weird about you wanting to spend a few hours shopping and getting a massage.

    Bottom line, you're a great mom and you deserve everything you want on the day that's meant to celebrate that. Even if it's a few hours to yourself.

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  3. Social media is so good at making us feel like we are doing everything wrong! From what we feed our kids, to how we spend our days, to wether we work or we stay home... the list goes on. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that it's all just a glimpse and really, we should just all smile at the pictures and move on without constantly comparing ourselves. WITH THAT SAID... I think Mother's Day, like any holiday-ish, should be spent however we want! It's Mother's Day - a day to celebrate the special women in our lives and all they do, and we should all be able to do that however we want, sister friend. You deserved that day off and I hope you'll take it every year!

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  4. I was on my way home from Nashville that morning after a night celebrating my future sister-in-law. I was a bit annoyed with all the pictures that morning as well, because I was away from my kids. But working all week and relishing my two weekend days, I just really wanted to be home. Catch up on things, get things in order before the rat race of the work week started again. Now, if Mother's Day landed in the middle of the summer when I am home with them? You bet your ass I would want the same day away that you had. Because I get it. I also got a really nice necklace from the boys, but I am returning it. Why? Because I am practical. I already have a necklace similar, and I look around and see all the things I could buy with that money that the house needs or projects to complete and to me that is more necessary than something dangling around my neck. Maybe one day I will accept and enjoy gifts of that nature, but right now? I am still in the selfless mode 24/7. Sounded like you had a fabulous day, no matter the circumstance or outcome. You are doing a great job with those two precious girls!

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  5. I was on my way home from Nashville that morning after a night celebrating my future sister-in-law. I was a bit annoyed with all the pictures that morning as well, because I was away from my kids. But working all week and relishing my two weekend days, I just really wanted to be home. Catch up on things, get things in order before the rat race of the work week started again. Now, if Mother's Day landed in the middle of the summer when I am home with them? You bet your ass I would want the same day away that you had. Because I get it. I also got a really nice necklace from the boys, but I am returning it. Why? Because I am practical. I already have a necklace similar, and I look around and see all the things I could buy with that money that the house needs or projects to complete and to me that is more necessary than something dangling around my neck. Maybe one day I will accept and enjoy gifts of that nature, but right now? I am still in the selfless mode 24/7. Sounded like you had a fabulous day, no matter the circumstance or outcome. You are doing a great job with those two precious girls!

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  6. I work full time outside of our home, so being able to spend the day with my boys is a "luxury", as you said. We spent Mother's Day together at the zoo, and it was perfect for me. No place I would have rather been, but you see, I don't get that good quality time with them every day, so I needed to be with them. It was good for my soul.
    I think being with your girls every single day gives you the right to take the day off. A lot of SAHM ask me how I do it, and I'm like, "Honey, I don't know how YOU do it!" I enjoy being able to interact with adults during the day and going home to my boys in the afternoon, knowing they've been loved & taken care, even if it wasn't by me. I do get sad somethimes, wishing we could afford for me to be home more, because I worry that I'm not spending enough time with them, but then I know that it works for me & my little family. My boys are thriving, sweet, humble little men. I have a wonderful village that supports me & helps me lead my babies in the right direction.
    Anyway, I got off track. Ha! Being you are with your girls 24/7, you deserved the day off because I'm sure your mental & emotional state, not to mention your physical self, needed restoring. You needed some adult/alone time. Don't let social media dictate what works for you. I hope you enjoyed yourself. :)

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  7. I totally get where u are coming from.. After I had my first I was all about spending the day with him.. I'm pregnant with my third boy and well I'm tired and just want to sit alone somewhere and read with an ice tea lol.. Everyone's different and that's okay!

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  8. Ugh, I'm totally jealous of your Mother's Day in full confession style. I wanted the day off, but instead woke up to a baby who filled the crib with poop, a massive toddler tantrum in church, and then I had to work all day. It was an exhausting day and all I wanted to do was take a nap outside!! Maybe next year, huh?

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  9. Okay so I want a Mother's Day like THAT next year! Don;t get me wrong, we had a nice even great day as a family, but I could use the recharge. And I wish you hadn't had to feel bad about getting yours. I think it's fine to spend the day however you need it at that time. I stay home all day with our son (just one kid right now! so not as hard) and I wanted to go to the city (San Francisco) to do something fun outside. It was lovely. I also could have used a day on my own, but I feel kind of alone all week, so it was nice to just be around a ton of people you know? Isn't it funny how being a SAHM can be the busiest job, making you just want some little bit of peace and quite, but it's also really isolating?

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  10. I felt exactly the same way when I saw all the "All I want is my babies right next to me alllllll dayy". I love my kids more than life itself. BUT, if I'm getting a day just for me?! I don't want to be referreeing arguments, cooking someone lunch, and worrying about getting the laundry done. I want a day to myself to wander the aisles of Target, drinking a starbucks, and doing whatever I dang well please.

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  11. It's funny you write this because I am so torn with this as well. Last year was my first Mother's Day and that weekend I went to my hometown for a night to celebrate a friends Birthday and have a girls night. We went on a winery trail and it was heaven! The next day I felt the effects of every winery so I wasn't able to get on the road and make the 2 hour trip back to my husband and baby at 8AM like I had planned. I cried about it and my husband said it's ok its Mother's Day, not daughters day. He reminded me I never leave her and its OK that I wasn't home yet and I should take my time getting home. So I ended up going to my sisters to eat brunch with her my mom and grandparents it was so nice. I eventually got home before dinner time. This year I was with my husband and daughter all day it felt no different than any other day besides flowers and gifts. I did enjoy it but I think there is nothing wrong doing something for yourself one day a year, and let's face it, it's not even a whole day. The moral of my story is year 1 I felt guilty I wasn't with my child from the moment she woke up and year 2 I kind of felt, hmmm I really could have used a pedicure and perhaps a meal I didn't have to share or eat standing while chasing a 20 month old around so next year I am going for the 50/50 split! Haha Spending time with my husband and daughter and then some time to myself. Don't feel like you did anything wrong, you are with your children all the time, you deserve some time to yourself!! Sorry this was a novel!! haha ;)

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  12. I personally spent the day side by side with my kids {except for a 2 hour run} BUT three days a week I only see my kids for 4 hours a day {after work}. Obviously, as a mama of 2 myself, I understand the whole 'I want 1 day OFF' thing. I love time to recharge myself, so I can be at my best when I'm with my kids.
    To be honest, I feel like you had the best of both worlds. Half of the day to relax, have fun & be yourself and half of the day to snuggle up and celebrate with your family. Mother's Day is all about that makes YOU happy...remember, you please the rest of your family the other 364 days a year...take a day for yourself! :)

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  13. I'm leaving my phone off on Mother's Day next year too (if I can remember, ha). Brad had to work this year, which made it feel like any other day. It was tough seeing all of the other moms getting breakfast in bed, given beautiful flowers and gifts, going to the park, etc. Meanwhile my poor guy was just too exhausted from working all night to barely function. He did cook me an awesome dinner, but... and thank the pregnancy hormones... I found myself getting really sad that I didn't get the Mother's Day that *I* would've liked... which included time ALONE. Or a nap, since I haven't been sleeping well. I love my boy like crazy, but he's a lot sometimes. So yeah, even just an hour out would've been nice. So there's me feeling like a spoiled brat for whining about normal life. haha! There's definitely nothing wrong with how you wanted to spend your Mother's Day! It sounds heavenly to me!

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  14. Your Mother's Day sounds awesome! And I wasn't surprised that comment came from a "male" coworker, because they just don't get it!

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  15. I read your Instagram post on Mother's Day and thought you were freaking brilliant. Mother's Day is just like any other normal day when you have young kids. There is still whining and tantrums and poopy diapers. And it doesn't matter how attentive your husband is (in my house anyway) if your home, you're not truly ever off. So escaping and recharging alone sounds absolutely blissful. I'm doing that next year. Shopping, lunch, maybe a mani/pedi and then meeting up for dinner with the husband and kid. Sigh. Can I call a Mother's day redo? I'm sorry you felt guilty and cut your day alone short. I hope you still had a wonderful day!

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  16. I loved this post. I 100% agree that time away is the way to go. However, I felt like I had to post a picture with my children by the end of the day Sunday or I was some kind of bad mother. Your day sounds glorious. I wouldn't change a thing!

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  17. I haven't read all the comments here, but, I do want to chime in and say - I found myself wanting some "alone time" on Sunday and feeling guilty about it, BUT, then remembering that's what you "get" for Mother's Day and feeling a little better about it. So, you were actually an encouragement to me! :) Regardless, you are totally right... We all have different ways we celebrate, get rejuvenated, rest, feel appreciated etc. Shame on the person at work that said that to you!! Mother's Day isn't about BEING the mom of the year, it's about celebrating the fact that you ARE the other 364 days! Silly people! Hope you had a great day regardless.
    E

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  18. To be honest, IG can be the best and worst thing. I think social media can easily make you feel like you are doing the mom gig "right" for SO many different reasons. I work outside the home, and STILL crave "me" time on the weekends. I think we all need the time to celebrate ourselves. I say good for you, Mama!

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  19. We just did super low key Mother's Day because we don't have the $$ to do anything else! Walmart flowers and frozen pizza for lunch after church. Ha! But, really, I enjoyed it a lot. We facetimed both of our mom's to wish them Happy Mother's Day and we took a monster nap in the afternoon.

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  20. I am quite jealous of how you got to spend your day! And I work full time. I think it's your day and you can absolutely choose how you get to spend it. More power to ya that you have an awesome husband who supports this. I am not a fan of these type of "holidays" in general because I can't stand the expectations and obligations that are put with it. The best thing I received was the hand made card and flowers in a paper cup that Avery made at school. Glad you got to relax and spend some time for yourself - you deserve it! xo

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  21. I think a little bit of both is perfect (for me!). I work most of the week so even if it isn't Mothers Day we always treasure our weekend time together. But I can only imagine if I was home all week with not one,but two kids...I would definitely be ready for some alone time since sometimes I want that after just a weekend! :)

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  22. I'm definitely one of those moms that was spending the day with her kiddo & Instagramming it :) But you hit the nail on the head - I work out of the home during the week. For me, spending a lazy day with my kiddo is the best luxury I can think of when I'm logging 40-60 hours per week & only seeing him 2-3 hours per day max. But I also left the boys for 2 hours to get a pedicure & window shop,

    I think there's no wrong way to do it, obviously. It sounds like you had a lovely day!

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  23. I don't have the luxury to have "me" time on Mother's Day since my husband words every.single.weekend. But if I did? Well then I would be getting a massage and getting my nails done. And then once I got my head all cleared I would get back to my baby.
    In reality who cares what others think/say/do. You have to take care of you and if having a little alone time makes you a better mom then go for it girl!

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  24. I could not agree with your theory more! Staying home and being a WFH (part-time!) mom, I just want a break!

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  25. I think your day sounded perfect! I took the day off at home. I still had to do things here and there for my kid, but mostly my husband did everything. I'm with mine 7 days a week aaallll day too, so I need a break! I don't think moms or dads should ever feel guilty about needing a break, ever. It doesn't mean you love and appreciate your kids any less, it just means we're human.

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  26. Katie, you are so right about to each there own. My kids are 18 and 15; I am a working mom, so I do enjoy the time with them because, hello, teenagers are NEVER home!! Having a dinner table set for four is a huge blessing any day of the week for me now (especially b/c the oldest is graduating and going away to college in the fall). When they were little though, and I was home with them more, my favorite part of Mother's Day (also, my bday) was when my husband would take the kids shopping for my gift. ALONE TIME!! That was part of my gift as far as I was concerned. Just being at home with no one there was glorious. Everyone has what works best for them. It is so time to stop judging other moms/women for what they choose to do. Everyone is usually doing what is best for themself and their family. Happy Mother's Day! It sounded like a lovely day. You are blessed.

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  27. DUDE! I am so completely 1000000% jealous of the way you got to spend mother's day. FOR REAL. My day was just like every other. Jimmy worked, I drug the kids to brunch with my mom and grandma, it was the same as every other day of my life and I am still bitter about it. I didn't even get to sleep in. So yeah. Next year you bet your ass I'm waving the flag.

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  28. Thank you for this, Katie! Really… THANK YOU. I find myself in a never ending struggle of wanting, no… needing… alone time but not wanting to leave my three year old princess. Working outside of the home four days a week makes me crave time with her. But because I'm not good with the balance I'm often craving alone time. We mama's need to support and love each other. Be on the same team. Uplift and encourage. Thank you for being that honest voice that portrays so much of what we all go through. I genuinely love you for that. And that male co-worker??? Can I kick him in the shin?

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  29. This was my first Mother's Day, I had just submitted my last paper for my grad school semester (on Saturday night), and my husband was home all day for the first time in two weeks, so I just wanted a low key day at home with them. We went out to breakfast (because we had no food in the house) and then bummed around outside all day. I decided not to go visit anyone else because it was the first day I had my little family together in a while without interruptions. BUT that being said.. I think that Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and blogging, are making it so that everything just feels so competitive, Mother's Day is no exception. I'm actually working on a blog post for this after feeling so stressed over making Mother's Day crafts to give to the grandmothers. Everyone just makes it so that their life on display makes you question your own. Sometimes it is so refreshing to see those posts but other times, not so much. I will say that right now, as much as I love being home with my daughter, days like today where she only wants to be held and a bomb went off in my kitchen, I wouldn't mind some time to sit in Chipotle and eat a burrito bowl in peace. You keep doing what you're doing!

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  30. I think you are totally right. You should get to chose how to spend the day, no matter how you want to spend it. I don't think anyone should say you're not being an awesome mom by having the day off. Boo on them.

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  31. I don't see anything wrong with spending time alone on mothers day. You enjoy those days that Declan lets you off! I totally agree that IG can make you feel like you don't do a good enough job on the holidays.

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  32. All I wanted on my first Mother's Day this year was to take a bath without having to get out when Beckett inevitably decides to cry, five minutes in. Honestly, I think you're right - moms who are with their babies 24/7 want time away and moms who don't get time with their babies want just that!

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  33. I say, "Good for You!" I would give my right (and left) arm for some alone time! We had family plans all day, so I didn't get any "me" time and really, that's all I want for Mother's Day! Don't let anyone make you feel bad, because all Moms want alone time!

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  34. I think your day sounds like HEAVEN!!! I chose to spend time with my little because work has been nutso and I haven't had much QT with her lately (she's 15 months and a mamas girl) but if given the opportunity, I would have savored a quiet lunch and a movie solo, that's just how rejuvenate. We all fill our cups in different ways.

    I think the biggest struggle with social media we play the comparison game constantly, "wow, she really has it all together" "her kids are always so happy" "where does she find the time?". Ultimately, I think we just need to cut the comparisons, be confident in ourselves and believe that different is just that, different. So enjoy your day solo Katie, you earned it!

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  35. I have always looked at Mother's Day as my day off, or day to get spoiled by cute things little kids do. This year I wanted to spend it with them the entire day though, bc I had surgery the next day. But usually I'm right there with you!!

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  36. I'm selfish because I want both! For Mother's Day, I want to spend the day with my family, but I don't want to have to do any work and for my gift-I wanted a day to go to a local hotel that gives you access to their pool (and pool bar) as long as you get a spa service. I just wanted the cheapest thing they offered-a pedicure-so I wasn't in the spa all day, but sitting pool side without worry someone would drown if I closed my eyes. I plan to redeem that gift in a few weeks when my friend can join me. In reality, my husband had to move to the couch the night before because he couldn't sleep so he didn't hear our early riser wake up, which meant I did. Then, Monroe agreed to get back in bed with me after I popped him some waffles-and he spilled a full glass of water all over the floor getting in. We went to early church so we could enjoy more of the day and the afternoon was fun, but we had to go to Monroe's last soccer game at 4:00 and I was secretly a little bitter that it cut into the middle of our day. But, he really tried his hardest-he's usually doing helicopters on the field and he was so proud of his trophy, so it ended up being really nice. And, I'm still sneaking my day away in a few weeks!

    It's nice that your families are close enough to see them on mother's day without committing the whole day. Our parents are both about 2 hours in opposite directions. I love being able to see them, but right now when I'm in the thick of it, I relish that the day is just about me-even if it just a Hallmark holiday. I'll take it where i can get it.

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  37. Alone time!! I stay home with my kids as well and told my husband the exact thing you said. I want the day to feel special, I want to go to Target by myselfand just wander. I want you to wake up with the kids since I always do it and I want you to pick up dinner so there is no cooking or cleaning. I let him plan the last two mothers days and they were both big dissapointments so this year I spoke up and had the day I wanted. I get one day with NO guilt about only doing what I want.

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  38. I told my husband that all I wanted for mother's day this year was to rent a hotel room (one somewhere with good room service) and do absolutely nothing all day. We booked it for this upcoming Saturday, so I was still able to spend the day on *actual* Mother's Day with my parents, celebrating with my mom and daughter. Best of both worlds! To each her own, though :) Glad you got at least half a day to unwind and pamper yourself! God knows we all need it once in a while!

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  39. You took the words out of my mouth. I was SO grateful for my day off my husband gave me. I love my kiddo but man, it felt really nice to spend some alone time :).

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  40. I could take it either way, honestly. Jarrod is in Europe this month, so, I didn't have much of a choice this year, HOWEVER, one set of parents took one boy, and another set took the other, and so, I sort of had my own special Mother's Day time to myself, too! (minus all of the pampering) I don't think I would want to eat alone or have an entire day alone, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing, of course. To each his own! I certainly would not argue if my husband were to say, "Go shop and don't worry about how much you spend. Oh, and go get a massage!" But if it didn't happen and it was "just another day at home," I'll settle for some flowers and a card or something and be just as happy. ;-)

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  41. Even having been in mom mode for 3.5 years now I think i could sleep until noon if no one woke me up. I love sleep. My husband knows that naps are my love language :) my dream mothers day would be to spend it...alone :o my mothers day has always been just like any other day-except I might be able to get out of a diaper change or two. I love my kids, I love my husband, but man is it nice to have a mommy minute. Maybe next year I'll be able to sneak away for some alone time. I'm definitely jealous of your massage!!

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  42. I am in the same season as you. I am home all day with all three of my children and I basically get no break. I would love for my husband to tell me he has control of everything and it's my day off. Ha! Your day sounds heavenly... don't feel bad about it at all. You're an awesome mommy, don't let others make you feel like you're not.

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  43. Sleep and alone time. Those are the two things I desperately want for Mother's Day, every time it rolls around. I told my friend this time that whoever said moms should have to spend the day with their kids (unless they want to) must be a man, be on crack, or both. :) This year, we were in the middle of a deployment, I'm pregnant, and I haven't had a break for months and months and months. I NEEDED the two hours I got away from my girl. I may not understand why some moms want to spend the day with their kids and they might not understand why I don't want to, but to each her own, right?

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  44. Last year was my first Mother's Day. My son was only 3 weeks old and we had just established breast feeding. There was no way I could leave him. This year I really wanted my husband to offer me a nap & a pedicure. I did get my nap but only because I was up all night with a screaming toddler. We spent our Mother's Day morning in the pediatrician's office to find out our little guy has a double ear infection - hence the up all night screaming. I knew he had to have had one but was hopeful that I was wrong.

    I think Britt's comment was spot on. To the guy who said something about you being "mother of the year" he's clearly a douche. You're an incredible mom & anyone can see how much you love your girls via Instagram, this blog, ect. You totally deserve a break here & there! We all do!!

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  45. I can see both aspects. I work full time, so my time with my daughter is for a couple of hours in the evening, and every other weekend when she's not with her father. It turns out she was with her father Mother's Day weekend, and I had to work anyway. I'd have no problem taking the day to myself if I knew she was with her father, but if it wasn't his weekend, I wouldn't go out of my way for alone time. I'd love a full day to myself though. Some people are just way too judgmental. You're allowed a day off every now and then, especially if it's a holiday catered to YOU.

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  46. i'm with you. 4 kids in less than 5 years ... now 16, 14, 13, 11 1/2 ... i just want everyone to leave me alone, let me sleep, and not ask for a bit of my food or a drink of my cherry pepsi :) and get along so they don't fight and wake me up. *lol* i think you did it wonderfully - next year, i'm posting my time alone and how much i love it! getting a wonderful break makes me a better mom. and you are an amazing mom!!

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  47. I'm TOTALLY with you. I love, love, love my babies. LOVE being their mama and staying home with them. But what I wanted was a day to not have to do all the house stuff and take a guilt-free nap. Nothin' wrong with that!

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  48. you actually inspired me and i went to a movie alone on mothers day.. i still spent time with my kids and with my mom during the day but that 2 hours alone watching a funny movie was the best!!! Might have to be a tradition every year!!

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  49. This year was a special circumstance and I was able to see MY mom and hang out with just my daughter for most of the day since I was traveling with her. I still got some time and dinner with all of my kiddos though and the yearly picture I like to have of the four of us together. I think you're right, it just depends on what stage you are in. Kudos to your hubby for sending you out for some relaxation time! I get a good bit of that during the week since all of my kids are in school at some point. However, summer is coming... ;-) Happy belated Mother's Day!

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  50. Sadly, I dread Mother's Day EVERY year. This is a lot of the reason. This post is super on point.

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  51. I think you are spot on. Whatever feeds your soul is what you should do for Mother's Day. It is for YOU. Not what everyone else does and thinks should be done. It is for you. So whatever that may be I think you should do it. Whether or not that means you are with the little ones or away, like you said. Whatever feeds your soul is what you should be doing.

    Great post

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