My first Mother's Day I couldn't imagine not being with 'my people'. I just wanted to hug my girl a million times, with my husband by my side, do sweet things like go to the lake, have a picnic, maybe get a sweet card and flowers as an added bonus.
The last two? I realized that I actually wanted alone time--time to be spoiled, by myself, the chance to sleep in, to go shopping alone, and basically, to be blunt, I wanted the day off.
I realize this might have to do with the fact that Emeline's birthday is always the weekend of Mother's Day. I slave away on birthday stuff for her, throw her a party, make the whole day about her as it should--so by the next morning, I'm completely and totally spent. Not to mention, minor detail, I have two children now. Both of whom are getting older and are actually more needy, and more exhausting to be around than when they were babies if I'm being honest. Oh, and--one other important fact....I'm home with them all day, every day.
I actually didn't think anything was wrong with my Mom's Day Off theory, and my husband is a strict enforcer of this, too. He seriously doesn't think I should lift a finger-and well, who can complain about that? It's just, I felt like, hey--it's Mother's Day. We all get to do (if we can/have the means/have a spouse around/family who can help, etc) what we want/choose to do with it, essentially. I just subscribe to the theory that I don't want it to be like every other day--make me feel a little special--alone time is nice to rejuvenate my soul--and, oh, added bonus, I love fresh flowers.
I go to sleep Saturday night knowing I don't have a monitor by my head and can sleep in till my little heart desires. I dream about sleeping in till 9am. In reality, I end up waking up at 6:18am. I lay and flop around a bit and try to enjoy the fact that I don't have to move from my bed for as long as I want. I roll my eyes because I am such a mom, waking up this early out of habit. It doesn't work. My stomach starts to growl. I realize I'm starving. I send a text downstairs to Declan to let him know I'm coming down soon because, I need food and coffee.
He makes me a super breakfast--omelette, bacon, fruit and coffee. Then he tells me that the plan is that I'm off for the day. That he booked me a massage at 11am, but other than that I'm free as a bird, and oh, by the way, don't worry about money either. We agreed that we'd meet back up for church that evening, because I did want to be there all together, but other than that, he's got everything else under control.
So I eat. I snuggle my kids a little. I pack a bag. I head to the gym because that's how I like to start my day if I can. I sweat and burn calories. I get ready there. I head to my massage. I enjoy it tremendously. Declan texts me a cute pic of the girls outside playing, checking in to make sure I'm enjoying myself. I am. I head off to shop for some summer dresses at a few stores. I find some things--not much. But I enjoy strolling the aisles quietly. I get a little hungry so I decide that chipotle sounds delightful. As I finally stop enough to pull out my phone, I scroll instagram as I eat the best salad loaded with All The Good Things, in silence. It is glorious.
Then I start to see all the instagrams of the momma's with their kids. With captions like, All I want is them by my side today. After all, they're the reason I'm momma, anyway. Hugging my kids all day. Spending the day with the ones who made me Mom. The list goes on.
...and immediately I felt like something was wrong with me.
When I was finished I texted my husband and let him know I'd be joining them for the rest of the afternoon. He was confused, Why? No-Stay out. You deserve time alone. We're having a great day, I got this.
I still made my way home.
We spent the afternoon together, visiting his mom and seeing his family. Going to church. Then I got to go out with my siblings and my momma to celebrate her while Declan put the kids to bed.
The next day, at my work meeting, we were all talking about our Mother's Day and I mentioned getting alone time and getting a massage, and basically taking some time off from normal mom stuff. When I was met with a sarcastic "well aren't you Mother of the Year" from a male co-worker.
So clearly I must be missing something. We see it as a day to rejuvenate the mom. To take the day off and to relax a little. While other's want to soak up their babies even more and squish them all day, and not leave their side.
What I'm realizing is we're all in different phases. My mom doesn't have her babies home with her anymore--so she wants to be with us. Some of the momma's may work during the week, and spending a full day with their kid's by their side is a luxury. Some may stay home and still want to spend the whole day on mother's day doing the mom-thing. While others, (coughMe) are knee deep in mom stuff all week and thrive off a little alone time and pampering. There is nothing wrong with any of these...it's like telling someone they celebrate Christmas the wrong way just because it's different from you, right?
and you know what? It's OK. I will continue to celebrate Mother's Day in the way that feeds my soul. I just learned my lesson this year... I'll leave my phone at home.
How do you 'do' Mother's day? I'm curious to see what school of thought you all subscribe to. Let's chat.