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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

one and a half.

Oh, my sweet little BABY. My babyyyyyy, Lucy, is 18 months old today. One year and a half has gone by of being her momma, and it's true that it goes by faster than the speed of light, despite some of the longest days of my life. Oh the irony of motherhood.


This girl lives up to her name. She is a light. When her mouth smiles, her whole entire face smiles. Her whole body's involved... raised shoulders, excited eyes, cheeks that squinch up. Her happy heart and overall demeanor is SO fun. There's no doubt.

Oh, but don't let her fool you. She is fiery and fierce, and stubborn, too. She can hold her own against her big sister, insistently tells us yes or no, demands for snacks, will furiously throw-it-to-the-ground if it's not precisely what she wanted. She can be found climbing in the most dangerous of places, jumping from high points, and basically giving her parents a heart attack all throughout the day. There's no doubt that Lucy is adventurous.

She's obsessed with shapes and mostly stars, identifying them wherever she sees them. But, she can't just say "star", she has to say, "up-above-the-world-so-high" in her little baby voice EVERY TIME she sees one. It's ridiculous and so cute. She's obviously obsessed with Twinkle, Twinkle. Her words are just booming lately. The girl loves to sing, repeat anything you say, and loves a good dance party. Yep, she's all mine


Girlfriend gets so sad when sissy is at school. But when we pick her up? She run-attack-hugs her and it makes everyone around melt a little. It's totally sweet. I can tell that she totally has that little-sister thing going on. She knows big-girl things and icons already. Anything around that she sees that reminds her of Em, she'll say, 'SISSY!'. If I put on an article of clothing of hers that she knows Em has a matching piece, she'll say, 'SISSY!' If Em is napping and she's awake, she fa-reaks out wanting to bang down her door to wake her up. Even though they'll end up fighting in 2.5 seconds, I think it's sweet that she loves her big sister, looks up to her, and wants to be with her. Makes my mom-heart all warm. 


Every day. Every single day I think, why is she doing that? Isn't she still a baby? Two kids in, and I'm still amazed at how these babies grow into toddlers so fast. So curious about the world, so smart, so agile, so freakin funny and witty. 

Two kids in and I still have to pinch myself that I'm a mom, and she's mine, I get to keep her and get the privilege of being her mother. Despite the hard days (and ohhhh there are hard days), loving her, being loved by her (she is the best snuggler on earth!), is a joy, an honor, and just plain fun.

happy 18 months, lu girl! You are a blessing.


***




Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Two seconds to whine.

I have the tiniest little sliver of time to write something. Emeline is snoring on the couch (yes, at 7:30am...she woke up at 5:30), and Lucy is on the other end spilling eating cheerios and semi-dazed with Disney Junior. (I lied, now she's terrorizing the dog and throwing dog food everywhere. Whatever.)

I'd like to curse at winter, the entire season, the germs, the cold--and rip it's head off. I assume winter is a man, I guess? Who knows. He, she. Whatever. I'm so over it. Because, OMG my kid is sick againnnnn. Like, fever, puking, body shakes nonsense and it's so sad. But ok, I can deal with sickness. I mean, really, she's a ball of mush on the couch most the day, and frankly, some parts of it are easier than normal day shenanigans to some degree. She's sweet. Sad, but sweet as can be.

Anyway. I had just got done catching some puke (which, by the way--I am a PRO at, apparently I have fast reflexes...it comes with motherhood) perfectly into a bowl, was a little scattered from that, had just sat down again because she was all Mommmmmm I need you next to meeeeeeeeeeee. I had brewed a cup of coffee a little bit before, because, duh, lifeline. And I had just sat down with my favorite mug in my hand. Meanwhile, Lucy's on the other side of me, freaking out because SHE NEEDED ME at the same time, because, don't they always?? (hashtag two-kid problems)

I had just happened to pull my phone out of my robe pocket because it buzzed/dinged, something or other. I really don't remember how it all happened, but, basically, within a flash, Lucy had managed to ever so quickly slide my phone directly into my coffee cup for a scolding hot bath.

Obviously I pulled it out fast as can be (hello, remember those reflexes I talked about?), but it went in head-first. My phone already had a cracked screen from meeting the gym floor at just the right angle last month, and not only a crack, but a gigantic chip out of it, exposing the inner parts. I KNOW, it was bad. The worst part was--I went in to get it fixed Saturday and they ran out of parts and told me to come back TODAY. So, yea. The coffee got to seep in, like DIRECTLY into the parts of my phone. Fun.

I ran it over to my laptop to quickly connect it and back-it-up, meanwhile it's starting to flicker and it's literally acting like a ghost is using my phone. Creepiest thing ever. I'm watching the screen, begging Jesus to just SAVE MY STUFF, OMG. Step 2 of 4.....Step 3 of 4....and thank.you.Lord. It backed up. Basically just in time for my phone to die.

Anyway. Before you say it, my kind friends, it's already in a bag of rice. But my phone looks like it's been run over by a dump truck TWICE so really, I mean, what's to save anyway? 

All this to say, that Tuesday has been super awesome far. I know, you can choose your happiness or whatever, right? Well, too bad. It just ain't happening today. 

Today I choose to be honest and say that I begged and almost cried to be the one to physically go to work this morning when my husband left. Yep. I told him I was legitimately jealous that he got to leave this mess and go to work. It wasn't my finest moment. 

Today, real life is messy.

***

Complainer, OUT. 


Monday, January 27, 2014

Master Bedroom Makeover. It was time.

You guys. FINALLY! My bedroom is done and I'm so happy about it I could cry. Okay, basically, I'm just ecstatic that it is no longer the dark green unhappy hole it used to be. Paint changes errrrythingggg.

Because I know you'll skip ahead anyway.


It's currently looking a whole lot lighter and fresher, and praise hands baby, momma is happy, happy.

Because it came a long way from looking like this:
womp, womp.

Ok! So now. More pictures.





(ignore the blurred out TV cords...those are being taken of shortly! Beautiful yellow wooden box made by my friend Lauren, she rocks.)


...and a little iPhone panorama....


Isn't it cozier? I honestly am spending so much more time up here because it's just so much less....BLAH.

So here's what happened (if you care).

I was OVER our bed frame. We've had that sucker from IKEA now for like, 6+ years.  Six years ago it felt fancy to us. Now? I was ready to move up to a big girl bed. Yep, just a headboard. We so fancy :) My awesome friend, Lauren (who, you will see, helped me out with a ton), pointed me in the direction of this headboard from, wait for it.....WALMART.com. The price? Well, you can't beat it and you can barely make yourself one for that price. I was sold. Gray. Mine.

Within a few days we had hired Declan's brother to come paint. I know, I know--I could paint myself, but those ceilings get SO HIGH with the cathedral pitch, and the dark green paint required primer. So, for a few hours, and much less money than I thought, (or wrangling kids around wet paint), a few of my brother in law's workers came and banged it out. I was so pleased! Aqua Mist by Behr. It's pretty :) And? I didn't have to do it! hooray.

Lauren went on the hunt for those end tables for me. She rehabs old furniture (find her on instagram, here), and so I knew I needed her to do find me some big-girl matching side tables. For $20 she found me these old (solid wood) end tables (from an old Mariott! ha!), and then did her thing to pretty them up. The paint color is Anonymous by Behr.


I could not love them more. I added in the cute little chalkboard baskets (from Target), wrote "his" and "hers" on each of ours, and there you have it.

***

Room randoms:

I made those 3 wreaths above the bed--easy as heck. Just got a few of the plain-jane twig wreaths from the craft store and fancied them up with a few felt flowers, yarn and some dried flowers. I knew I wanted to add texture and so this (with the baskets) was my solution.


I know, not everyone is into the idea of a TV in a bedroom. It's actually more for me and the girls than Declan & I combined. I like a place to retreat sometimes at naptime, or lounge in bed some mornings with the girls watching cartoons. I also really like watching my chick-shows like the Bachelor up there, too. It's true.

I really didn't want to do a collage wall up there, but I felt it needed to be done to help around the TV area. So I got some cheap, cheap frames from Christmas Tree Shops, used a few wedding pics, a few of my favorite black and whites, and a few free printables (found by searching in pinterest) to fill it up for now.



I went looking for bedside table lamps everywhereeeee and ended right back up at Target. I really loved the look of the glass/crystal bases and for the price at Target, you couldn't beat it.



White fluffy rug on the ground=Target. It's so fluffy and feels so good on my toes, it's one of my favorite things. And rug on rugs works in my life until the day I have hardwood floors.


Bedding is the same stuff I've had on my bed for a loooong time. A white duvet from (this is getting redundant), Target. I love it because it's actually simple to wash and keep clean, believe it or not :) The throw pillows are from, yea. You know where.

Curtains are a 2 pack for $14 from Tuesday Morning. If you don't have one of these stores, it's basically a hodge-podge of things you never know if you'll find again.

went with again, something light and airy, gray paisley design.
And one of my favorite little 'upgrades' was keeping my old furniture (which is actually junky stuff, but works for now), and just taking off the black hardware and getting crystal pull knobs off Ebay for cha-eap! It makes them look so pretty and much lighter than the black.


Ok. I think that's it.

Phew.

Much better, don't ya think?


***

ahhhhh.

You know where to find me.


Friday, January 24, 2014

just go.

Around the beginning of the year Declan and I started talking about some little goals and things we want to do this year as a family. Forget the personal goals (we have those), but what do we want to do as a family? That was the question.

I thought back. What actually filled me with joy down deep the year prior? 

Quickly I came to the realization that I treasure, like, deep down feel joy in my bones when we travel and see places together as a family. No, it doesn't have to be extravagant. But the things I look back on? That make me smile and feel happiness most? It's those special trips we take together.



{{San Diego, last February--you stole my heart}}

For some reason, my brain forgets all the chaos of the traveling, the inconvenience of staying in hotels, the screaming in the car, or the scariness of a plane ride with two children--and it goes straight to these moments.

AND I WANT MORE.

I crave more.

So I told Declan, even if it's for a day. A short weekend. Mini-trips. I neeeeeed them.

Last year we managed to get in our trip to San Diego, Virginia Beach and Great Wolf Lodge (Poconos). There were probably a few little trips spread throughout, but obviously nothing I'm remembering at the moment. I want to do more this year.

We already have the beach on the radar for July, and a trip to upstate New York for a long weekend---and I have this deep desire to just drive up the east coast stopping at the best little dives and little attractions along the way. Like, I picture stopping on rocky cliffs, eating lobster sandwiches, stopping in Boston for a day, etc. But I have NO CLUE WHERE TO START.

What mini trips are you taking this year? What long trips? What things do you do with your family? I want to do more, more, more. Have you done a trip traveling north up the east coast? Where do you stop? HELP MEEEEE.

I want to just go. But when you have a family you need a *pinch* more planning than that. Go figure ;)

Here's to more memory making this year. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Snow Day + Sick Day

Before someone says it, I'll say it myself. Sickness has struck again, I knowwww, someone is sick all the time it seems. I've already been to the pediatrician this morning. I know it's my fault, because I'd rather have a social life, and my kids have a social life, therefore we catch a lot of germs. We're always somewhere, and always where the germs are (preschool, the gym, church). And, whatever. I've just come to terms with the fact that once a month at least during winter, someone is sick. Life with kids when you're not willing to quarantine yourself in the winter, I guess.

Even before I had to tell Emeline that she couldn't go to school today because she's not feeling well, schools had already cancelled because, duh, more snow or whatever (err, just like 10-15"...no big deal). Well, then when I went and I told her that ALL the kids couldn't go to school today because of the snow, she still cried anyway. awesome.

Declan is working in the basement (perks of a job where he can still work from home I guess), and getting ready to do the first big 'shovel session'. Lucy is busy being a goof around the house and crunching endless goldfish into the carpet. Sissy is lounging in my bed watching TV. And I'm drinking infinite cups of coffee and staring at all the things that need cleaned/organized/put away.

So. Scenes from our Snow Day + Sick Day.


(Mac hates snow days too....apparently.) 

(obsessed with stars...her favorite pj's by far...)



Happy snow day to you. And if you're somewhere that's warm and sunny? Soak up that vitamin D for me, cuz Lord knows I need it :)

Monday, January 20, 2014

cur·rent·ly - 1. at the present time.

I just had written out a few paragraphs about how awful of a time I've had writing lately, and yet, how much I am dying inside to write but....I just...can't. Then I was about to tell you about how I've just been a little unhappy lately, in general, and well--it's really linked back to lots of things, but mostly, not feeding myself with the things that do make me truly happy. Whoa, groundbreaking, right? If it were that easy, I just need to get back to writing & photography without reservation, and somehow, someway--I think that will help spark the joy in me again. It's this vicious cycle and somehow I'm feeling a jumbled mess and just needing that little pinch of happiness and joy that I find through my creative process. I know, it sounds dumb, but it's true. 

So as I'm sitting here spilling my guts in a post I'd likely regret--I see a new post pop up in my reader from the sweet BA. And she does this thing, which just lets her, well...write. In tidbits, no less-but I love it. So I'm stealing this idea from her in efforts to get the words swirling back around again, to kick up the dust, and maybe I can find more joy here. 

So.


Currently I am...

watching Downton Abbey. Except, not technically. Because I need to really focus when this show (helloooooo, no commercial breaks!) is on or I'll miss something and be all, whaaaa? who's that? So it's on pause on my DVR while I write. We're also watching Breaking Bad. Mid season 3. And holy whoa, why I am watching this show is beyond me. It is the opposite of my norm. And it is Addicting. Capital "A" required.

loving all my hi-rise jeggings from American Eagle. If you don't have these jeans. WHY? They are the best, hands down, best, most comfortable jeans (especially to wear with boots) ever. Go get them.

listening to the buzz of the monitor while both my babies rest and to my annoying dog rolling and flopping around on the floor. 

praying that this little fever/body aches thing Em has going on is short lived because there are 3 days of preschool this week that I paid for and SHE NEEDS TO BE THERE. for my sanity

admitting that one of the best parts of my day is when I'm working out. It's the time when I'm just me, I don't have to think or worry about anything other that what we're doing right there, what my body is capable of, and I'm not worrying about my kids in that moment. It's a mental break for me even though I'm working my butt off. Funny how that works.

feeling frustrated that Lucy misses the cutoff for the 2 year old preschool program for next year, so much so that I actually cried real tears about it. yes. I admit it. I was already excited about 4 hours a week without my kids to grocery shop alone next year, and right now, that won't be happening.

drinking water (after finishing my afternoon cup of coffee), and feeling kinda proud of myself that it's been over 6 months since I've had diet coke (or any soda!). I cold-turkey-quit back in August and I'm proud for not really looking back.

appreciating my home and my surroundings, being safe and warm--little things that are really big things.

learning to shut my mouth. I have an awful habit of interrupting (and my husband reminds me often, love you honey), but I am learning and growing. Years of being part of a big family will do that to you. Years of a bad habit will take lotssss of time to undo. But I am trying.

excited to finish my bedroom. I am so close and I can't wait to share it all with you.

anticipating warm weather, the ease of no-coats, late night walks, playground playing...

bummed that warmth is still SO FAR AWAY though.

wishing I would get my camera out more often, but sadly, my "january 2014" folder on my desktop sits empty. Thank God for instagram, or else this month didn't exist via photos.

hoping to get out of this funk and start feeling more joy soon.


***

little by little, I hope to be around more.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The Gym in January & The Debate that Shouldn't Be.

At first I didn't notice a big difference at the gym. I was really expecting it to be hustling and bustling on January 1st when I went in for a morning class, but no, apparently everyone was still hung over, who knew. Considering I went to bed at 10:30pm on NYE, I was good to go, actually, I mean, I partied so hard on the couch, it was a rough get-up*.   *not

But it took a few weeks and nowwwww the hustle and bustle has begun. I am not annoyed with new gym goers. Not at all. In fact, being a resolutioner is something I know a lot about. Success can come from it, it does come from it, so I do smile a little when I see an obvious new face and someone who's at the start of their journey. I've been watching a few of the same faces at the gym (yes I'm a creeper apparently) over the last 7'ish months and I've seen some ladies REALLY change. They are faithfully chugging away in zumba week after week, trying new classes, changing their bodies. Part of me wants to go up and whisper to them, I notice. But I feel like that might just add to the creep-factor.

But I do. I notice and I see their hard work.

On Monday I put my kids in the childcare and they were only the 8th & 9th kid there. Within 45 minutes when I came to get them, they were up to numbers 49 & 50 (that doesn't mean 50 kids were in there at one time, but how many had come through, people pick up, etc) If anything, I'd say that's my least favorite part about the new year--not the crazy amount of people in my normal classes, not the lack of parking spots--but the extra busy childcare. I've been trying to sneak in at nights when I can leave the kids home or only bring one (usually Emeline since girl can hold her own). Because for some reason I do feel guilty when it's busy in there--I don't know. More germs to share or something.

Anyway. I really do welcome the new people with open arms. When I can tell someone is a little uncertain, seems confused, etc, I will ask them if it's their first time and help them set up/show them what to do, etc. Because I know it can be intimidating.

They'll all find their groove soon enough. And I hope they love it and have a good experience like I have.

***

Something that's been bothering me lately is the Gym vs. No-Gym (workout at home) thing. I know it's dumb....IT IS DUMB. I guess, I just feel annoyed by the fact that anyone even feels the need to bash one or the other. Obviously, in this day and age, you do not need a gym membership with access to amazing workouts from your phone, TV, heck, even circuit ideas on pinterest, etc. We all know that you do not Need with a capital N. And we all know it's not an excuse when you don't have a membership to say you can't be fit/get fit, etc, because helloooooo there are so many options you can do from home.

That being said, everyone has to do what works for them. The reason that joining a YMCA changed my lifestyle and workouts is because it's more than just a fitness center for me. In fact, I rarely step foot in the fitness center if I'm being honest. It's about the group classes, it's about the instructors pushing me, it's about them coming up to me, helping me perfect my form, watching others around me and knowing that I.can't.quit if they're not. It's about meeting friends there, and the accountability. It's about the childcare, that getting an hour a day to myself in this way actually improves my mental state. It's about the extra perks, the friday night babysitting and fun events our Y throws, the indoor pools and all that family stuff, too. And for the price we pay, you seriously cannot beat it. The perks far outweigh the money for us.

I get that it takes time to pack up my kids, to get myself ready, to get there in time--to unloading and reloading the car, etc. I get that the convenience of working out at home is hey!this takes less time! and that is a huge benefit. But for me, it isn't. I'd rather spend the time getting out of the house (now that I have that down to a science) and sweating it out at the gym.

My point here is this: one is not better than the other.

And you do what you have to do. What works for family, your lifestyle, your schedule with work and kids and home, with the way you prefer to be motivated, etc. It doesn't have to be such a thing. Workout at the gym, by yourself, in group classes, at home. Who cares.

(via)
Just move your body.

**


Monday, January 13, 2014

so it begins...

Each new year it happens. I get the itch to redo all the things around my house that make me feel stabby and irritated. The problem is, suddenly EVERYTHING is horrid in my eyes (funny how that works), and while I wish I could do it all, I can't. I mean, I could--but my husband may leave me. Ahem.

Anyway.

A few months ago I dramatically told Declan that I COULDN'T STAND TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY IN OUR BEDROOM! And all I want for Christmas is a bedroom makeover! And wahhhhhh.

Do we all regret our decorating decisions from 6+ years ago? Because I am seriously wondering who took over my body and chose that horrid pea soup green color in my bedroom. Why did I think that was a good choice? Did I realize that repainting it would be a pain in the butt? Obviously I did, hence why it took up residence for so very long even though I loathed it every time I walked in there. I don't even have pinterest to blame since it didn't exist back in the dark times six years ago. Actually, if it did exist I'd probably be better off.

I digress.

TODAY IS A NEW DAY MY FRIENDS.

I mean, for my poor, sad, pathetic bedroom that is.

It got a coat of Killz and new paint and that pea soup color no longer lives in this house! CAN I GET AN AMEN?

Honestly, I am so very happy, I could cry. It took me a ridiculous amount of time to choose a color to replace it with (because of course a full bedroom makeover is in order) and then at the last second, I picked a new one while standing there in home depot. I should never be surprised by this. In the end, a more open, airy, take-a-deep-breath bedroom is in the works and I could not be happier.

I am inspired by this photo.

pin via
Despite the fact that I am not using those identical colors. Actually, not really at all. But you get the idea of the feel? I guess that's kind of it, with a touch of rustic. Maybe. Oh heck, I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Annnnnd now comes the time when I worry if I'll achieve anything that I envision in my head. The truth is, I probably won't. But I have a feeling I will still love it's airiness and openness no matter what. Yes, yes I will tell myself that.

For now, we have a painted bedroom. Breathe in, breathe out. IT IS NO WHERE NEAR DONE YET.

(headboard coming! side tables coming! fun art projects!)



Hopefully more finished details to come next week.

***

eeeeeeeeeeekkkkk

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Aye yi yi. This is random.

I've gotten away from writing about my kids in the way that made me look back with fondness and ohhh and ahhhh over the things they say and do and blah blah. I feel like I need to. I feel like I should. But I also just...don't...want to.

I feel like if I capture them on video every once in a while then I'm doing it. I'm holding their little voices and mannerisms into a tiny little time capsule forever and ever. And well, that? That's ok, too. I think.


Yesterday was Declan's birthday. As most of you know, he's younger than me by about a year and nine months. I'm okay with this, I am. But last night as we were tucked into a tiny little booth at The Melting Pot on his birthday date, I said, I finally feel like you're getting older! Because forever he just kept feeling SO YOUNG compared to my age. And then he's all, Newsflash, baby....I can never catch up with you. And frack. He's right, but, gah. Why do I have to keep getting older, too?

Ok. Whatever.

Anyway. We had a great time. We indulged in lots of food we don't normally eat. We walked hand in hand at the mall like teenagers, mocking the names of the fancy stores in which we do.not.shop, and took selfies while we waited for the Starbucks barista to catch up from his looooong line of backed-up drinks and for him to royally mess up on calling Declan's name out.



T'was grand for a Tuesday night. Especially since our Tuesday nights are usually spent getting sweaty in the gym on our romantic date to bootcamp. ;)


Last week I traded my old 2006 SUV in for a newer (used) SUV. Honestly, it was more about what made sense. My car was getting bigger and bigger bills each time it went in for something routine, and it was starting to stress me out a little, even though I loved it. I got decent trade-in on it and we got the car we wanted for a great deal. The best part is, I feel all fancy because it has remote start on it. Which, if you are on any form of social media at all you know that it's OMGSOCOLD right now, so that ish is coming in handy.

I was starting to feel so guilty when Lucy would be all "brrrrrrr c-c-c-oooolllddddd" in her sweet little voice every time I put her in the car. So now, without going down a flight of steps to start my car, I can press a button! A BUTTON! Yes. I am finally up with the times I guess.


Speaking of the cold, I know it's cold-duh. But for some reason it doesn't bother me that much? I mean, of course it would if I was working outside or something. But, walking to and from a car, or in and out of a store, etc. Yea. It's not that big of a deal to me, even lugging kids. I mean, it's cold. It takes your breath away. But the second you enter warmth it's all, AHHHHH and I'm good. But let's not be confused for a second, I still loathe winter and just last night I said to my husband as my tush was getting warmed by my seats on that 10 degree day, Can you even IMAGINE the days of flip flop wearing and shorts? I daydream about that magic. DAYDREAM.

But it's only January so I better keep my daydreaming to a minimum. We've got LOTS more winter left.


I can't even believe it's time for this already but I'm already in the midst of PLAN THE BEST BABY SHOWER EVER (for my sissy) mode and holy crap, that came fast! Why does everyone else's pregnancy always fly by and meanwhile mine literally feel like I'm living in this sick, slow twilight zone to which never feels like it will end, ever? So unfair. Also, the second said baby comes out, time is on LIGHTENING SPEED.

I will never understand such things. Ever.


Ok. Wow. That was random.

Happy Wednesday :)








Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Say it louder.

I was at the nail salon the other day sitting cozy in a pedicure chair, doing that awkward bump up and down thing you do when the auto-massager is on and all your body parts are a jigglin'. Before you get your panties in a twist and think I'm a diva, I was going on a full-giftcard-ride and my last pampering was before my sister's wedding in April. Basically, I really don't get fancy things done like that unless someone else is paying, let's be real.

All of that is besides the point. I was sitting in peace and quiet after my husband basically kicked me out of the house because, I don't know about you--but sometimes ALL the family togetherness of the holidays can be, umm, a lot. And honestly I needed a time for my head to shut off and my brain to stop thinking about all the billion things to do at home.

I sat my phone on the little table beside me. Decided that if I (ahem, giftcards) were paying someone to massage my legs then I was going to enjoy it gosh darn-it and not be scrolling through my phone the whole time. Because, ahhhhhh.

As I was sitting there, I couldn't help but notice when a woman in the salon, who was getting her fingernails redone, had her phone on speaker (since her hands were occupied), and was awkwardly bending down/shouting into her phone having a conversation right there in the open.

At first, honestly--it was a little annoying. I found myself thinking all these selfish things--hellooooo I don't get out much. This is supposed to be a break for me, and umm, I kinda don't want to hear your loud speakerphone conversation across the whole place.

But within a few seconds I could pick up on one little tidbit of important information.

She was clearly talking to her little daughter.

I could hear this sweet little voice on the other end.

And then my whole outlook changed to, awwwww instead of, ohmygosh hangup already.

I still might have been a tad-bit-thankful when it seemed like their conversation was coming to a close, though. I mean, I was trying to get in my quiet-pretend-I-don't-have-children-mode and the loud speakerphone conversation which involved A LOT of repeating, and "I didn't hear you, say it again's" wasn't really helping my zen state of mind.

Then this happened (and I am not exaggerating).

Mom: Alright honey, I love you more than the moon and stars!

Kid: What?

Mom: I love you more than the moon and the stars!

Kid: HUH?

Mom: (not even flinching, just saying it louder and slower) I love you more than the MOON AND THE STARS!

Kid: I love you more than the moon and the stars! (yessss, she finally heard!)

Mom: Alright baby, I love you more than anything.

Kid: What?

Mom: I love you more than ANYTHING.

Kid: love you too, mommy.

Mom: I'll see you in a few hours. I love you more than teddy bears and rainbows!

Kid: HUH? say it louder.

Mom: I LOVE YOU MORE THAN TEDDY BEARS AND RAINBOWS. I LOVE YOU BOO-BOO. (insert kissing sounds)

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Okay. I have to admit--it lost it's cuteness factor after the first line. It lost it's cuteness factor when she was talking SO LOUDLY into her phone, and repeating herself over and over and over. And-I can't lie, I was a little....annoyed? Maybe even a tad embarrassed for her? But she didn't seem even the slightest bit worried about anyone around her, nor did she seem to care about the quiet atmosphere of the nail salon.

And the more I started actually thinking about this, the more I realized that I could actually take some life lessons from speakerphone-lady.

While, YES, I think it's sort of a weird time to be having speakerphone conversations, in a quiet and (supposed to be) peaceful nail salon--there was a part of me that admired her for really just not caring. She wanted her daughter to know how loved she was, and she didn't care how many times it needed repeating, how loudly or s l o w l y she had to say it for her to understand, she made sure she heard it, made sure she felt it.

It made me take a look at myself a little harder, actually. The times that I might shush or hush my daughter when she didn't understand something I said the first time but keeps begging me to repeat myself. The times I get frustrated and just say forget it. The times when in public I might be more concerned with what's going on around me, what the eyes of the people are 'saying', versus staying right there in the moment with my kid, no matter good or bad.

I know it might sound a little far-fetched to glean this out of this scenario. But I TRULY had a gut-check moment where I went from thinking WHAT IS THIS WOMAN DOING to Why wouldn't I do that and REALLY who cares?

I mean, no matter the situation, when it comes to telling our babies how much we love them--really, what's it matter who's looking? Who's peace is disturbed for a few minutes? It doesn't.

In the end, I'm just glad that little girl knows how much her momma loves her.

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