Friday, August 29, 2014

Under Water

In the last 6-12 months we've noticed issues with Emeline's hearing. It just didn't seem right. It was almost like she was ignoring us, and we were even told once by the pediatrician that, 'yea, selective hearing' (ha-ha-funny eyeroll) after she (seemed) to pass her hearing test with flying colors.

The issue kept on. We knew in our gut something wasn't right. I knew my girl wasn't a deliberately disobedient kid. She honestly just couldn't hear fully. It wasn't until the last few months the issue just got more and more noticeable. The TV would be up at a perfectly acceptable volume, and she'd be super upset that she just COULD NOT HEAR IT, frustrated with me, even.

We'd start to test her out, whispering from behind. Nothing. Back to the doctor and this time she failed the initial hearing test, so we called the ENT to get this show on the road. They got us in that day. I don't know if that's ever happened in my life for a specialist, but I didn't argue. We were ready for some answers for our girl.

After the full blown audiology exam it was determined. She definitely was not hearing fully, had about 50% hearing loss, and there was a lot of fluid back there that simply could not drain. But it could be fixed thanks to the simple tube surgery that lots of kids (and adults) benefit from. Once we realized how poor her hearing really was, 1) we felt justified and also a sigh of relief that we aren't crazy and 2) we wanted to do anything to get it fixed right away.

They were able to schedule her tubes surgery within a few weeks. And this morning was that day.

She was looking forward to it. She knew something was wrong with her hearing. She would say, "will my ears get fixed soon?" She was so ready for better quality of life. For less lip-reading. To just feel normal, I guess.

Everything went smooth as I expected. I was fully aware that this is a no-big-deal surgery and that it would only take a few minutes. Watching her get all woozy from the medication was amusing. She fought the sleepiness hardcore, and near the end she looked up with a silly grin and said to the nurse, "I see TWO of you!" It was great.

honestly, a hospital gown never looked so good :)

They wheeled her off and within no time they were calling us back to post-op. When we walked in she was hysterically crying. They warned us about this, but I admit I still had that initial gut mom-heartbreak feeling. I just couldn't wait to scoop her up. They put the guardrail down on the bed and told me to climb in with her. She was flopping and flipping and wailing. The poor kid was confused and exhausted, and coming off the medicine was rough on her little self. It was probably the most painful part of this thing. Declan and I just held her, told her it would be alright and tried to make her comfortable.

Before we knew it, we were dressing her and taking her home. Within 20 seconds she was asleep in the car. We went to pick up Lucy, who had stayed the night at my mom and dad's house, when Emeline finally woke up.

She had this cute little smile on her face and light in her eyes, and said, "Mom! I can hear now. Test me!" So I whispered from the front seat, "how old are you?" and she said excitedly, "I'm FOUR!!" I smiled at Declan. Something so simple meant a whole lot to us now.

I know, trust me I know that this isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But when your baby is having trouble with anything, you want to fix it. Knowing that she's struggled hearing for a while and knowing the way something so small even affected our lives, the way we had to communicate, how to parent her, even--it was actually a big thing.

So when afterwards she didn't need the iPad turned up loud to hear it, and when she thought her normal voice sounded 'so loud in my ears'--we smile. we are so glad she's not under water anymore. we are beyond grateful.

Cheers to fixed ears.

Monday, August 4, 2014

/ / s e v e n \ \

Seven years of being married today. 

In the middle of the night last night I elbow him in the side so he knows that Emeline is up getting sick. Oh, and wipe the vomit from her hair, k, thanks, baby. By the way I've been up 5x already, it's your turn.

I remember it's our anniversary. After a little middle-of-the-night quarrel due to sick-kid-heightened frustrations, I mutter, Oh, and happy anniversary. I have a little attitude in my voice.

This morning we're both exhausted. Hours of interrupted sleep. Tossing puke-laundry down the steps in the middle of the night, changing pj's multiple times, making floor-beds and putting the humidifier in strategic locations, trying to convince a 4 year old that she should sleep and not play the iPad--all of that can make you a wee bit sleepy.

As he heads out of the bedroom to leave for the morning he kisses my face and tells me Happy Anniversary. I was too incoherent to even say it back. 

This is life. Anniversary dates get canceled when unpredictable happens. The kid's you made together? Well, they dictate your life. You might mutter mean things in the middle of the night when you're sleep deprived. You don't hold any of it against each other because after 7 years one thing is clear---You're still on the same team. 

Every single day, working towards the same goal.

At 9:13am the doorbell rings--it's a bouquet of beautiful deep pink and orange flowers. I text him to tell him thank you and that it reminds me of our wedding colors. He replies, "yep, that's why I picked it :)" 

Somehow I love him even more.