This time of day can be a little stressful for me, admittedly. I really don't prefer to trip on toys in the kitchen while I'm making dinner. It's the one place I feel like, keep your toys awayyyyy, and yet, it never, ever happens. The house is a mess, a complete mess, and everyone is getting hungry. My hands are always covered in raw chicken or something disgusting the exact moment someone always needs you this instant.
But for some reason, this day, albeit chaotic and messy and loud--felt different. Lucy and Emeline were both playing independently for the most part. They were getting along, and in between dance sessions, there wasn't fighting. There was playing, a little giggling here and there, some sweet sister chatter, sometimes explosive laughter. I remember having a little moment, the kind where you 'check-in' and feel fully present, the kind where I thought, Ok, here it is. This messy, hard but good, not-perfect life, we're living it. I felt gratitude wash over me in a way that felt like slipping into a warm, cozy bed.
A few minutes later, out of nowhere and in between dance-breaks--Emeline says, "Mommy--I want to marry my Daddy...'cuz he's the BEST".
I looked at her, in all her 4-year-old beautiful innocence and I didn't have the heart to tell her anything except that marrying him is a great choice, because, you're right--he is the best.
I was unloading the dishwasher at this point, putting sippy cups together, something that could drive you to insanity--and I got a huge, massive lump in my throat replaying that over in my head. I want to marry my daddy. And I felt tears building up in my eyes. And you guys, I am not a crier. I'm really not. It takes a lot to break down this stoney heart. But that got me so hard, right there in my now-swelling-heart.
I thought, Wow. Isn't that the ultimate compliment? She wants to marry her daddy.
Because to her, in her 4 year old mind, he is the picture of perfect love to her. He is the picture of protection and endless hugs and exactly what it means to be accepted fully as you are. That concept wrecked me. It absolutely wrecked me because it holds so much meaning. Since we often project our views of our earthly father onto our heavenly Father God. I thought, wow.
I want her to always want to marry her 'daddy'. Someone just like him, that values and loves her all the time. That lifts her up and encourages her. That tells her she is strong and can do anything she wants.
It is the ultimate compliment.