Thursday, February 5, 2015

When you just up and move across the country.

Two years ago, heck, a year ago even, if you'd have asked me if moving all this distance was in our plans I would have said a big heck-no. Was it in our dreams? Yes it was. In fact, I remember telling a friend that one of two things would happen in my future, and I wasn't sure quite sure which.

1) We would buy a house and settle in an area in Pennsylvania we were comfortable with/felt like home just because that seemed like The Next Responsible Thing To Do.

or 2) We would up and move across the country to live in southern California.

If I'm being honest with you, number 2 didn't seem like something that would actually happen--more like a pipe dream, perhaps.

But here's the thing. I am not special or brave or crazy (ok, maybe a little bit), or wild and adventurous for doing this. My husband says, "yes, you are brave, babe". I say, "no, no sweetie, I'm not, because I'm still scared."  But we took an idea, a dream, really--and began to let ourselves really think about it seriously. We played out every scenario in our heads, we got the ball rolling, we took the big, scary steps. We let each door open and if it opened we walked through it. We explored the avenues and broke the news to family. It was met with different feelings and reactions from everyone, as to be expected. Some very sad, some super excited for us, some ignored it, and some were wonderfully supportive. But then we kept on.

I've gotten a lot of comments, mainly on my instagram, things that go something like this:

You're brave, I could never do that. 

I wish I could, but I just can't. 

Leaving family is never an option for us.

I'd miss everyone too much. 

It's too hard. 

My parents would kill me.

The details make my head hurt. 

I've always dreamed of moving to the beach. 

I'll just live vicariously through you. 

All of them are exactly how I felt, how I still feel if I'm being honest. I told Declan last night that it still almost feels like a dream that we live here. While we were going through all the little details that it took to get here (omg, SO MANY---), I thought we would surely die in the process. There's no way to figure it all out. Is there???

Turns out you can. And I know this is like beating a dead horse, but you just take one day at a time, one step. Before you know it you're there and scratching your head like, whoa, we did it.

My point is not to say, You should all move far away from your family. I'm not suggesting that at all, that'd be crazy and it's not for everyone. Some of us make choices to move away, and some of us don't get the choice based on careers or whatever.

What I am saying is that sometimes you have to ask yourself the hard questions and then answer them truthfully. Sometimes considering your little family unit and making decisions not based on everyone else's feelings is actually the healthiest thing to do. Sometimes stepping out into something so new and unknown can stretch and grow you in a way you may not have otherwise. Sometimes you have to think will the regret of never trying haunt you all your life? 

Moving your little established family because you want to try it may sound crazy, and, you know--maybe it is, but I'm just gonna err on the side of this quote when those feelings of Oh God, What did I do creep in. Because I hope I'm lying in bed with Declan when we're 80 one day and reminiscing on our SoCal adventure with a smile.



  1. I think it's awesome what you did! My husband and I have had the same thoughts for years about a dream of moving to Florida. We are currently in South Dakota and grew up in Minnesota. We can't stand winter and are tired of whining about it. A part of us wants to just move to Florida. We could do it. It's just a big thing! Anyway, I really admire what you are doing and I hope you and your family enjoy sunny California!

  2. That's awesome! I moved to a small farming community and even though it's only an hour and a half away from family I still get the side-eyed look that tells me they think I'm crazy. But I love it here so I'm happy I made the move :)

  3. This post is SO true and I love it! I have lived thousands and thousands miles from my family since I was 17 that being said I settled in Maryland and met my husband (who is SO opposite of me in every single way) which I love about that. We stretch and grow daily, 14 years later we are still stretching and growing. He WILL NOT move away from his family - he would regret that forever if something happened to them and he was not by their side instantly. it is okay, I get that. That is not something that holds me back. I enjoy new adventures traveling being on my own. We fully intend on moving in the future. To sunny southern CA, not sure that's an option or Montana or Wyoming. We'll see. Yes I am the one that asks all the questions but I just want to know what you are thinking:) You are brave, braver than you think. Brave doesnt mean you have to not be afraid, it means you are afraid and you do it anyway! I love all of the sunny pictures. Keep them coming!

  4. So happy for your family and this new adventure. Can't wait to read and see the stories you guys create! Enjoy exploring and finding your way around San Diego!

  5. I notice you keep calling this your "adventure". Does that mean this is a temporary thing? Either way a fun, great and exciting move. Living near the beach sounds amazing...its *19 here today!

  6. Our dream is to move to Florida and live on the beach. We can't leave our family right now but one day, it will happen. We will move. I think what you are doing is awesome. And yes, you are very brave.

  7. Exactly! I know these feelings well. That's how I was when I made the giant move to CA and had no family or friends out here. It felt crazy and insane but I bought a home out here and committed. I was going all in. You can do this. Some days you will feel completely alone and others you'll wake up and say, I can't believe I live in California!

  8. Great job girl. I have moved now 3 times to different states. Born in KS, moved to PA, now in CT. Honestly, it is hard, but at the same time I would NEVER change it. I have learned so much about myself and people with those moves. I would never change it for the world. This is a great step for you and I think your girls will be super well rounded too.

  9. I am so glad that you are able to enjoy this big adventure! I will take a page from your book and keep my options open. There's a possibility of me and the husband moving to France for a job posting of his. Maybe it will happen next year, maybe the year after and maybe not. But i want to be open to those adventures!

  10. When we moved, only a state away, mind you, we had some good friends would could NOT believe we were leaving. They have different personalities than us. I think it definitely depends on the people and family. You will NOT ever regret this and who knows where it will take you from here! I have learned so much and met so many amazing people since I left my comfort zone 5.5 years ago. Sure, I miss "home" sometimes but I never wish we had not taken the chance, for many reasons. Good for you and your little family, Katie! Keep the pictures and updates coming!