I just read a post about calming down, settling our hearts for the holidays, really being able to be present and relaxed, about how important advent is...allow yourself to breathe and rest this Christmas season.
It made me a little sad because I feel completely the opposite, knowing this season will go by in a blip due to circumstances beyond our control.
A day ago our landlord called and basically said they want to finish the terms of the lease on our place, as they want to move back in. Originally, our terms were one year, and then going month to month after that, which was perfect for us with a baby coming early February. We were gonna hang here until after the baby for a few months, then look for a place with a little more space and tiny yard for the kids once life was more settled down. Now, though, that's no longer an option for us, and by January 1st, or as late as January 31st we'll be living in a new home. You know, like 11 days before a baby is due (or here already for all we know?) It's...ok, ok, it's a tiny bit stressful if I'm being honest.
Trying to find a decent rental in San Diego (in the area we want to be in) is not the easiest thing. The pickings are slim, and the crowds are furious. Not to mention, we have a trip to Pennsylvania planned for the holidays, and, oh, have to pack an entire house, again, while super duper pregnant at that.
The thing is, I'm actually pretty shocked at how little I'm worried about all this. Lately I've been one of those crying-at-everything pregnant women (no, really, it's....humiliating), and oddly enough this house situation hasn't been at the top of my crying-list. School bullying happening with my sweet kiddo, feeling a little bit lonely, Ellen videos on facebook? Those are all taking top priority in the tears-department. Being homeless in a few weeks isn't. Weird.
The truth is, in the end I just know in my heart that something will work out for us. I've been asked if I'm upset with my landlord (since they know I'm pregnant and all), and I'm not. This is their home, and it's their right. Honestly, this is one of those true tests of my trust in God, and his provision for our growing family. I need that from time to time to remind me of his faithfulness. I feel confident that he's got this and will somehow give me the strength to pack house, still have a restful visit with our family over the holidays, and get settled before our 3rd lady joins the family.
I keep saying that the silver lining in all this is that I was once worried that January would feel like an ETERNITY waiting for the arrival of our girl. Well, HA-HA on me, that will definitely not be the case if I'll be packing/moving/setting up house.
So many changes happening in the next few weeks/months for us. Instead of focusing on the stress of it all, I'm just grateful that we had this place to start our life here. It's been good to us.
Onto the next adventure....