Monday, October 17, 2016

What's bothering you?

I was just about to write a massively long Facebook status about something and thought, "This is the exact reason I used to blog".

So I guess, whatever, I'm here...and likely to go on a tangent.

The girls are now 6, 4 and 8 months old and as ridiculous and cliche as it sounds, the days and the weeks fly by so fast now it terrifies me sometimes to think about. Life can just get so busy (like real-busy, not just saying-it kind-of busy).

It's wild to think about, but when we first moved to San Diego, while that in and of itself was a whirlwind and adventure, we were in the quietest 'down' season of our life thus far. It was actually a beautiful thing. We had no other commitments, we hadn't made many friends, and we had an abundance of time because our kids weren't yet in real school. We traveled, we saw, we spent so much time together because we only had each other.  I will forever be grateful for that time we had to just connect as a family.

Now, things are different--but it's equally beautiful, albeit crazier. The girls are both in full time school, Hattie is the most mobile 8 month old ever, Declan is thriving and moving up in his job, and I took on a position at our church. We (thankfully) now have some amazing friendships with people, our kids have a huge social life outside our little family nucleus--and while all that is fun and amazing and exciting to be stretched and used by God, and pushed to do more and bigger and better...........I'm tired. Declan and I juggle around duties and to-do's and who-takes-what-kid-where, and our iPhone calendars are always notifying us of the next thing, pinging and ponging all the time. I know people say they couldn't do life-stuff without their spouse. But, uh--I reeeeally mean it. There's actually no possible way I could.

This was definitely not the point in me taking to my blog today for the first time in months. But I guess it kind of leads in to the fact that sometimes I'm a teeny-bit tapped out when dealing with those crazy moments of motherhood and this morning was a fine example of that.

I picked out Lucy's clothes ahead of time, like I always do to avoid epic meltdowns of very opinionated little people. The only problem was that I didn't get to check with her last night that it was indeed a suitable choice. So this morning? Yea--she was freaking out. Tears. Screams. Like I had poked her with a million needles or something. But no, heaven forbid I chose purple leggings that "don't go down far enough" (she likes her pants reallyyyy long), and "are itchy a little on the inside" (they aren't), and "but I wanted a DOWN dress like a down-down dress with a SWEATER!" (down=long)

I was totally calm about it, but just told her that she couldn't come have breakfast until she was dressed, and she needed to wear what I put out. After a while too long went by, I think I let out an exasperated sigh, and made eye contact with Emeline, who was cheerfully eating her bagel and entertaining her baby sis. I think she read my mind which went something like this, "I give up. I give up. I give up." (regarding Lucy)

Without saying a word, she put her food down and calmly walked to their bedroom. She got down low, eye-to-eye with her sister, and said, "What's bothering you?" Through tears Lucy muttered something about her pants, something about the color, something about how her dress isn't princess-enough.

Then Emeline said in the lowest, calmest, most evenly-keeled voice ever- "If you do me a favor and get dressed in what Mom put out for you, I'll put one of my candies into your bag, and you can have it."

Within 2 minutes the tears had stopped and Lucy came out of her room as if the entire meltdown of epic proportions did not just happen. She bopped around, popped into her chair and asked for breakfast, in the clothes I had set out for her.

Emeline and I exchanged a secret high-five and I thought two things in that moment: a) I'm so glad I have an Emeline, dude, that kid is amazing, and b) Crap, I hope she doesn't end up in therapy for this.

As our family is growing and aging and life is actually really full, it takes a team--and even our kids know that. But I'm thankful for that teeny reminder today to take a second, look someone right in the eye, and ask them what's bothering them. If that doesn't get to the heart of the issue, heck, there's always candy.


  1. Oh my goodness this is so precious! You are so blessed!! 😍😍😍😍

  2. GOd bless Emeline!! I love it when those little sister champion moments happen!

  3. I love this! Go Emeline for being an amazing sister and you for raising an amazing sister because they learn it from someone :) It is always so nice to "hear" from you and your family. Especially when things are going well though busy!

  4. Glad to see you on here again. :) I think my life is full but if (when) we add a second kid I can't even imagine. And you're doing it with three! I'm glad you have a partner in both Declan and Emeline to help balance things out. <3

  5. She's such a sweetheart! I love when you tell stories about her bc I can totally get a feel for how awesome she is <3

  6. *I* want an Emeline. This is sweet.

  7. Bless that sweet girl! My oldest has a similar knack of being the stand-in voice of reason when I have lost my mind. God love those oldest sisters!