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Tuesday, November 20, 2018

These are the crazy days

Years ago when I was 8 months pregnant with my first, teaching, and tired--I wrote a facebook post stating so. It was true. I was exhausted! Immediately someone replied that I didn't know true exhaustion--just wait. Just wait until you have three kids. I was so offended at the time. Of course I couldn't know what life was like with three kids. Everyone's exhaustion and life stresses look different at different times, you know? And it's all very relative.

Fast forward 9 years and here I am. Three kids. Three (bigg'ish) kids. And I am pretty sure I'm in the same phase as when that person wrote me that response all those years ago. And yea, I totally get where she's coming from (now), and could find myself being the person who snaps back at a tired college student like, honey you wait. But I don't-I try and bite my tongue and remember how it feels.

Anyway-I do get it now because it is absolutely no joke raising humans these ages, with all the emotions, all the dance practices, all the gymnastics, all the homework, all the commitments, all the dinner making, and why god do they keep needing me to sign another school form?!

I expect that things will look different as the girls age even more, different challenges, perhaps a mama way ahead of me is snickering and thinking just you wait-but right this moment? It's by far the hardest, most-stretched we've been as parents. The juggle back and forth with duties between Declan and I can absolutely start to feel like a system that is great, but mundane-and will this always be life? I know though that it won't be. But in the day to day moments? Dear God, can we just make it to bedtime when I can actually put my feet up? That'd be great.

No matter how crazy the days of living in my car running kids back and forth to appointments, practices, taking my laptop to work on-the-go, living at the dance studio (or so it feels some weeks) ---I know these days are so sweet. They are beyond sweet.

Because we still have nights with soft music in the kitchen, cooking dinner amongst all the crazy of homework-doing. We slow dance as a family and squish everyone with kisses. The girls run off and play in their bedrooms together, making grandiose performances for us. They cuddle in our bed together and watch movies. They hold hands unprompted. They want to play games with us. They sneak us little notes constantly. They sleep under our roof every night. We don't worry when they'll get home. We tuck them in and kiss them and know they're as safe and sound as we can control in our own little world. These days are so good. 

It is always easier for me to err on the side of negativity and focus on the hard days. So I plastered a sign right in the middle of my living room, "These are the Days" because I need the reminder every time I walk past it. Yes, getting out the door this morning was awful. Yes, this afternoon they may have struck on every last nerve. And yes, it is still a privilege to raise and love them. Yes.

The days I'll look back on with longing? These ones right here---I'm certain they'll be it.


3 comments:

  1. I miss your posts, glad to read one! You are so right, these are the days and those new or soon-to-be moms have no idea but why bust their bubble, I always smile and nod and tell them to squish those newborns with all of the kisses bc it goes by too FAST!

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  2. Ugh. Such a good reminder. I had not even thought about this hot second I have before they're never ever home! Thank you for sharing!!!

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